It was one of those ill-timed nights where as soon as I got cozy in bed and started to drift off to sleep- Henry started to stir and needed to nurse. And unfortunately, after a few more wakings, say4/4:30am, I was completely unable to go back to sleep because Drew was sawing some serious logs (and not the gentle, rhythmic snoring that I can sleep through, but the abrupt, choppy, snorting kind of snoring that makes me want to kick him out of bed) and because I've picked up Henry's cold and my nose refused to stop running and my throat to stop aching- I threw in the towel as I resigned to the fact that I would not be getting any more precious sleep. So there I was: irritated and miserable and trying to decide if I should amplify my torture by going into the next room and getting some grading done since sleep was out of the question.
And then, probably due to the fact that I was fantasizing about sleeping somewhere far far away from these two ridiculous sleep-blocking Mitchell boys that I should be careful what I wish for. I don't really want to be without Andrew and Henry; they're my sunshine. Suddenly it dawned on me- these aren't problems, they're blessings! The fact that Andrew is sleeping next to me means he made it home safely from the next county where his basketball game was held and his snoring means that air is traveling in and out of his lungs- God has given us at least one more night together. And Henry's frequent nursing due to his cold means he is building up the antibodies that will make his body strong and resilient against future germs. And the fact that I can still curl my larger body around his tiny one to comfort him is not a constant- there are only a fixed number of days that I will be able to do that- why would I want to ruin one of them by focusing only on the difficulties?
So off I went to work today with all of the ingredients for a terrible day: sore throat, sniffles, and bleary-eyes but I had so much pep in my step because I realized that I am one blessed little lady and God is good to me.
I wish I could say that I always maintain such sharp perspective, but I really don't. I frequently look at the problem and not the solution. I often forget to consider that my "problems" very well might be someone else's dream scenarios. But today was a step in the right direction.
It later dawned on me that today marks exactly 5 years since Andrew proposed to me- a night which I always refer to as one of the best- if not the best- in my whole life. I can still feel what it was like to lay on the couch in Andrew's parents' front room in his arms, a roaring wood fire making the room so toasty, looking my ring over and over. We replayed the proposal over and over, laughing at Andrew's nerves and at my complete inability to forsee what was coming. We did a little fantasizing about the wedding and eventually fell asleep together. I remember waking up the next day and wondering if I had just had the most amazing dream or if it was all real. Looking at my fourth finger gave me the answer.
Since I'm somehow the only technologically-stunted individual of my generation and I don't know how to embed a YouTube video, you'll have to follow the link if you want to see the proposal.
http://youtu.be/TrW0-zWOSC8
So how did last night compare to the best night of my life? I suppose no night will ever measure up to 1/20/07, but even if every night is as frustrating as last night, I suppose I'm still living the dream that was set into motion 5 years ago today.
I love you, Andrew
